Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie
by Swing123
Summary: Moe forces Calvin to go to summer camp. And when Calvin can't take Moe's bullying anymore, he and Hobbes escape into forests they've never been to. With deadly aliens on their tracks. FINISHED!
1. Summer Camp

Calvin jumps off the bus, and ran at top speed toward his house.

"FREEEEEE!" he screamed. "Now I have till bedtime to forget everything I learned this year! SUMMER ROCKS!"

Calvin yanked the door open, and guess what happened.

Hobbes blasted out the door, and Calvin went sailing up into the sky.

Moments later, the two made a crater in the ground. There was a moment of silence, then Hobbes leaped up.

"HOO!" he yelled. "That was a GOOD one! We've NEVER got so high that we could see China before!"

Calvin grunted, and crawled out the hole.

Calvin dusted the dirt and ruble off him, and glared at Hobbes.

Hobbes wasn't looking at him, however, he looking ahead of Calvin. A look of fear on his face.

Calvin was about to ask what was going on, when...

"Hey twinky, whachya doing?" called a horribly familiar voice.

Calvin's eyes widened in fear and he turned to Hobbes, who at the moment was a stuffed animal sitting on the sidewalk.

Calvin slowly turned his head to see... YIKES!

Moe and his gang of thugs were all staring at Calvin.

"Hey Twinky," Moe repeated. "Spare change?"

Calvin began to back up. He ran into Hobbes, and the two fell to the ground.

Calvin grabbed Hobbes by the shoulders, and held him up to Moe.

"MAUL HIM, HOBBES!" Calvin screamed.

The stuffed animal hung limp in Calvin's hands.

Moe and his thugs laughed, and with one swing of Moe's fist, Hobbes lie ten feet away from them.

Moe turned back to Calvin.

"Cough up the money doctor stupid." he growled.

"Moe, I... I don't have any money." Calvin blurted.

Moe raised his fist.

"Gee, that's too bad."

Calvin turned his pockets inside out.

"See?!" he begged. "No money, please don't kill me!"

Moe and gang held a conference, while Calvin beamed glares at the stuffed animal ling ten feet away and muttering "you didn't even raise your darn paw!"

Moe turned back to Calvin.

"I'll let ya go, if ya come to the summer camp they're having over at camp pine."

Calvin stared at Moe.

"Why?" he asked.

Moe did a punch into his hand.

"You're gonna be my personal punching bag." he snapped.

Calvin glared at Moe,

"What if I don't go?" he asked.

Moe grinned. "You'll never see the light of day again."

The gang laughed and walked away.

Calvin turned a glare on Hobbes.

"You hairball! You didn't even growl!" he said.

Hobbes stood up, and brushed the dirt off his arms.

"What were you expecting?" he asked.

"I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT! BECAUSE OF YOU, I'VE GOTTA GO TO STINKING SUMMER CAMP! AND BE TURNED INTO A HAMBURGER!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes, and walked into the house. Calvin followed.

"What am I going to do?" he asked his tiger.

Hobbes yawned, and picked up one of Calvin's comics.

"I suggest you don't go." he replied.

"But then Moe will kill me!"

Hobbes thought for a moment.

"I suggest you don't go." Hobbes repeated.

Calvin sighed. "I don't..." just then, his mom came walking up.

"Guess what?" she said. "I'm going to sign you up for summer camp, tomorrow. It will be fun! I'll be rid of you for... I mean.... get ready, you leave the very next day." she walked off whistling a tune.

Calvin's face turned red. Then he let out a scream.

Hobbes snickered.

The very next day, Calvin got into the car with mom, Who was starting the car up.

"But mom, I don't WANT t go to Summer camp!" he said.

"Too bad." Calvin's mom said.

She stuck the key into the car, and started it up.

They backed out of the drive way.

Calvin turned to Hobbes

"Hobbes, what are we going to do!"

Hobbes crossed his arms.

"'We?'" he snorted.

Calvin ignored him.

"If we go to Summer Camp, then Moe will tear me to pieces! WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!"

Hobbes stared around the car.

"You COULD jump out the window, and run off. You could pack some stuff, and run away into the woods till summer's over."

Calvin grinned.

"Good idea, Hobbes." he said.

He turned to the window, and began to roll it down.

When it was all the way down, he took Hobbes' arm... and leaped out of the car.

Fortunately, Calvin landed in the grass by the road, and not on the hard road.

Unfortunately, mom saw it.

"CALVIN! OH MY GOSH! DON'T!"

she screeched the car to a halt.

Calvin got up.

He was still dazed from jumping out of the car, but not so dazed that he couldn't see mom jump out of the car, and storm over to Calvin with gritted teeth.

Calvin screamed, and ran around to the stuffed tiger sitting three feet away.

"RUN HOBBES! RUN!" Calvin began to run, but mom's hand closed over Calvin's shirt collar.

She tossed him into the car, and continued on the trip, but this time keeping a good look at Calvin through the rear-view mirror.

Calvin sat in his seat grumbling.

Hobbes sat next to him looking his usual innocent, stuffed, self.

The next day, Calvin was packing. He opened up the duffle bag, and stared at Hobbes.

Hobbes stared back. Then his eyes bulged.

"I'M NOT GETTING INTO THAT BAG!" he yelled.

"Oh come on Hobbes," Calvin said. "The trip won't be long!"

Hobbes crossed his arms, and looked away.

"For-get it" he said

Calvin dropped the duffle bag.

"Then I'll force you in." Calvin yelled.

"You'll have to catch me first!"

Hobbes raced off, Calvin running after him, screaming and waving his arms.

Hobbes dived into Calvin's chest of drawers. Calvin grabbed the handle, and yanked it.

Calvin's clothes flew out like booby traps. Calvin had shoved them in to tight.

"Yoo-hoo I'm up here."

Calvin looked up.

Hobbes was in the top drawer.

Calvin climbed up onto top of his desk, and made a grab for Hobbes, but then, the next thing he knew, he was in the middle drawer.

Calvin made several grabs but missed each one.

Soon Calvin got sick of playing "which one?" and tilted the whole chest of drawers over.

Hobbes leaped from it, and dove back down the stairs.

Calvin leaped off his desk, and chased after him.

Calvin entered the livingroom, and saw Hobbes using his claws to climb up to the ceiling.

Calvin rushed over to the wall, and made a grab for Hobbes again, but Hobbes was already on the ceiling.

Calvin rushed out of the house, just then.

The movie came to a stand still, as Hobbes clung to the ceiling, and stared at the front door with a bored expression on his face.

Moments later Calvin returned with a big steel ladder.

Hobbes watched as Calvin climbed up to him. But just as he was about to catch Hobbes, Hobbes made a swipe at Calvin, and ripped his shirt, and Calvin and the ladder fell to the ground.

But in the process of tearing Calvin's shirt, Hobbes lost his grip, and he tumbled into the duffle bag, that was laying on the floor.

Calvin then ran up, and zipped it shut.

Ol' Hobbes made quite a struggle, but Calvin had him.

He turned and saw... gulp..... the bus with the sign camp pine on it.

"This is going to be a long year." Calvin said.

He walked outside.

The bus driver stared at him.

Calvin turned his head.

Calvin's mom and dad were waving goodbye to him.

Calvin gulped, then Calvin climbed onto the bus.

Calvin then saw Moe. He was sitting a seat in the back of the bus. He grinned, evilly.

Calvin gulped, and went walking over to a seat far from Moe.

There, he... HUH? Susie Dirkins?


	2. John Chill

_I'm sorry I haven't updated my other CandH fics in a while, I'll update as soon as possible_

Susie smiled at Calvin.

"Hi, Calvin." she said.

Calvin stared at her. "What are YOU doing here??!" he asked finally.

"I decided I wanted to try out summer camp." Susie replied. "I want to learn how to life off the land."

There was a moment of silence.

Calvin shrugged and reached for his duffle bag.

It wasn't there!

Calvin's head shot around in every direction.

Then his eyes fell on the bag scrambling toward the bus door.

Everyone was staring at the duffle bag. Including Susie and Moe.

Calvin leaped into the air. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" He yelled, then he landed on top of the bag.

The other people lost interest. They thought that Calvin had a remote control car in there and was trying to fool them.

Calvin struggled with the bag for a long moment.

Then, he was able to shove it under his seat.

Calvin then sat down and waited.

They drove for what seemed like years, even it was only a few minutes.

When they finally came to the sign marked camp pine, it seemed like they had they had just traveled to a new state.

Calvin looked out the window.

The landscape was unfamiliar.

The trees seemed cruel and unforgiving. The bushes looked like crouching monsters. Everything looked dark.

Calvin gulped.

Down below, Hobbes struggled through the duffle bag.

Finally, he used his claws to unzip the bag.

He stuck his head out, and gasped for air.

Then he shook himself, and glared at Calvin's legs which hung limp on the seat.

Hobbes flexed his claws and slashed right through Calvin's leg.

"YOW!" Calvin leaped into the air.

Hobbes snickered. Calvin hit the ground with a dull THUMP onto the ground. He lifted his head, and glared at Hobbes. Who grinned lazily up at Calvin. "Hi" he said. "How y'all today?"

Calvin glared daggers and ice picks at him, before getting back up, and sitting down.

"Welcome to Camp Pine!" yelled a large man.

He had big cold eyes, dog tags, long wild brown hair that started at his head, and then traveled down behind his ears into a small beard.

He smiled, showing unusual sharp teeth, a large white shirt with CAMP PINE on it, and large clutched knuckles.

But his most distinctive feature was that he was HUGE! He was about as big as a silver back gorilla.

Everyone started at him.

"We're going to have a lot of fun this year!" he said, crossing his arms.

Calvin thought that it sounded like a threat.

"Now," the man said. "My name is John Chill, but your just going to call me instructor Chill."

ah-ha! Calvin heard another maybe-a-threat.

"While you're here, you will sleep in the boys cabin, or the girls cabin." Chill continued. "You will also learn hoe to work canoes, like your Indian ancestors."

ho-hum. Calvin doubted he even HAD Indian ancestors.

"And," Chill went on. "You compete in races, and contests. There will be NO violence here at Camp Pine whoever is caught bullying another, will face the punishment!"

Moe's mouth dropped open, and Calvin felt somewhat better. But then again, Moe always found a loophole.

"Luch is at noon sharp!" resumed Chill, "breakfast is at seven, and dinner is at five! Now, go and unpack in your cabins. You have two hours before your first race. Please HURRY!"

everyone ran off to the two cabins.

Calvin dragged his duffle bag to his bed.

Hobbes followed.

"What have you got in there?" he asked.

Calvin grinned. "You must always be prepared, Hobbes, ol' buddy."

Calvin opened the duffle bag.

He pulled out; an umbrella over twenty comic books, candy, a map of Montana, candy, a dart gun, fourteen packages of water balloons, candy, a miniature CD player, headphones, CDs, candy, one of those Juice box products, candy, a mini DVD player, DVDs, another pair of headphones, tuna, and candy.

And just in case, Calvin drug a large cardboard box out from under the bed. It had TIME MACHINE, written in it.

Hobbes' eyes crossed. But Calvin didn't notice.

"Yup." he said. "I'm ready for anything."

Hobbes rolled his eyes. "You sure are." he said.

"Hey Calvin!" yelled one of the kids. "Stop talking to that stuffed animal, and get a move on!"

Calvin glared at him.

"Hobbes get him!" he yelled.

The small stuffed animal tilted to one side.

Calvin growled in frustration.

"HOBBES! GET HIM!"

no response came from the stuffed tiger's mouth.

Everyone in the boys cabin started to laugh.

Calvin clenched his knuckles. "Are going to get him or do I have to..." Calvin didn't finish, because at that very moment, the stuffed animal fell on top of him.

"AAA! TIGER ATTACK!" Calvin yelled. "GET OFF ME YOU SHOCKING FELINE!"

everyone was laughing and pointing as Calvin struggled with the toy that now lay on him.

But none of them knew that by the end of the week, laughing would be a thing of the past.


	3. The Deadly Bush

chapter 3

"ON YOUR MARK!" Yelled Chill.

All the people at Camp pine were having a race.

Whoever won got a gigantic trophy, to bring home.

"GET SET! GO!"

Everyone burst out running.

Calvin, who had a lot of experience running from things like Hobbes, aliens, and his own fantasies, seemed to be faster than Susie, Moe, or any of the other people there.

Each time one of Calvin's feet left the ground, dirt shot upward. His arms pumped furiously, and a look that said "I am so deep in concentration that if you break it, I'll tear you apart!" covered his face.

He could hear his heart beating like a drum, and he felt sweat drip off his face.

Ten feet from the finish line. Nine feet. Seven, six, four... HUH?

Susie tore past him.

Calvin halted in utter confusion.

Big mistake.

Moe ripped by. Then all the other kids did.

Susie ended up being first place, and Calvin, last.

"SHE CHEATED!" Calvin shrieked after the race. "SHE USED SOME KIND OF HIGH TECH RUNNING SHOES!"

Hobbes coughed into his hand, and rolled his eyes.

Calvin didn't notice, he was to busy ranting and raving on Susie cheating.

"SHE'LL PAY FOR THAT!" he yelled.

"How do you plan on getting revenge?" Hobbes asked.

"Simple." Calvin said. "Tonight, I'll blast her with a water balloon!"

"Why wait till tonight?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin stared at him. "Hobbes the good part of the movie happens then. Do you want to RUSH through the movie?"

Hobbes sighed. "No." he said.

"Good." Calvin replied. "Then we'll wait for tonight."

Just then, Chill came up to Calvin.

"Stop talking to your teddy, and get in line!" he yelled. "We're doing canoeing next! NOW! CHOP-CHOP!"

Calvin grabbed Hobbes, and the two raced toward the lake.

The whole camp was by the lake, standing in the soft grass.

In the water, each kid had a canoe.

Calvin watched as everyone unchained their canoes, and learning how to work their paddles.

Calvin turned to HIS canoe.

He fiddled around chains for a few seconds. It wouldn't come un-done.

Calvin jerked, and yanked at the chains, growling in frustration.

Hobbes stood next to him, his hands behind his back, and watching Calvin with a dull look on his face.

Calvin noticed.

"Are you going to help, or just stand there looking simple?"

Hobbes scratched his head, and rolled his eyes skyward.

"Is there a third chose?" he asked.

Calvin glared at him, and shook his head.

Hobbes stood there for a second. "Number two." he said finally.

Calvin's eyes bulged. "Oh-no you aren't! Get down here and help me!"

Hobbes sighed, and bent down to examine the chains.

"Well," he said, staring at the chains. "You apparently are un-doing this wrong. See? The knot is here. You're tugging at this side, Einstein."

Calvin glared at Hobbes. "Hobbes I don't work good under pressure. What do you think I am? Superman?"

"Definitely not." Hobbes replied. "You're the complete opposite of Superman."

Calvin's eyes bulged, and his nostrils took on the shape of a Cobra's heads. He gritted his teeth, and clenched his fists, and all at once, Calvin could see nothing but a large curtain of red.

He jumped onto Hobbes, and the wreck was on.

Just then Chill came running up.

"HEY! What's going on here! Are you fighting with someone!"

Calvin stopped in mid-punch. Then kicked Hobbes away.

"It was HIS fault, Mr Inspector Cold! HE started it!"

Chill ran his eyes to the beat up Stuffed tiger on the ground, then back to the beat up Calvin pointing at the beat up Stuffed tiger.

"Because you were fighting with a stuffed animal, I'll let it slide. But DO NOT fight with anyone else! Now get your canoe ready, and stop acting like an idiot."

Calvin glared at Chill, then at Hobbes, then turned back to the canoe.

Calvin glared at the chains, and began to un-do them.

After he finally un-did it, he took Hobbes and crawled into the boat.

Calvin took the paddle and stared at it.

"How are you supposed to work this thing?" he asked.

Hobbes examined it. "It appears to have a paddle on both ends" he said. "Maybe it's a double paddle, where it takes two people to operate."

Calvin stared paddle.

"This makes NO sense at all." said Calvin.

"Maybe you should call Chill for help." suggested Hobbes.

"Do I look like a sissy?" Calvin said. "I'll just have to learn how to work this thing on my own."

Calvin studied the paddle for a long moment. Then he took hold of the middle, and plunged it into the water, with a loud SPLASH!" the boat drifted sideways.

Hobbes' eyes bulged. As the boat began to drift away from the shore. "Calvin! Turn around!" he yelled.

"I can't!" Calvin yelled slapping the water with his paddle.

Hobbes ducked down into the bottom of the boat, and covered his head.

"CALVIN!" Chill screeched. "GET BACK HERE!"

"HELP!" replied Calvin.

Chill buried his face into his hands. Then turned to Candace (one of Susie's friends.)

"Please let me borrow this canoe." he said. And then, without waiting for an answer, he leaped into the boat, and began to paddle toward Calvin.

"HELP!" Calvin yelled again, totally stunned by fear. "HELP, HELP!"

Chill paddled up to Calvin.

"Relax, Calvin." Chill said. "If you panic, the lake will just take you."

Calvin stared at Chill. "Oh, yeah, NOW I can relax! HELP!"

Chill hooked a rope up to Calvin's boat, then hooked the other end to his. Then, he rowed back to shore.

"Calvin," Chill said. "Do NOT set off without a life jacket. At your size, you'll sink to the bottom, ad no one will ever be able to get you!"

Calvin gulped, and nodded.

"Now get your life jacket on!" Chill said clapping his hands. "Your going to be riding in these, TODAY!"

"_Ah ha!_" Calvin thought. "_Another threat!_"

Later that day, Calvin had his life jacket on.

"Hobbes, do you have YOUR life Jacket on?"

Calvin turned to the tiger.

Hobbes stared at him.

"You don't know very much about tigers, do you?" he said. "Tigers, unlike most cats, enjoy the water. They are excellent swimmers, and they don't need life jackets."

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you sound like you swallowed an encyclopedia, now get in the boat." Hobbes yawned, and sharpened his claws against a tree. Then he stretched himself, and began to mosey over to Calvin, taking his sweet time.

Calvin knew this trick. Calvin would start screaming and yelling, and he'd get in trouble. But Hobbes had done this many times. And now he was ready.

Calvin crossed his arms. He didn't say "hurry up, you fur ball!"

nope.

He waited and watched.

At last Hobbes reached him. "what wonderful patience you have, Cal."

"shut up, and get into the boat." Calvin snapped.

Hobbes climbed into the boat.

"start your engines, people." Chill joked.

"I got thing mastered this time." said Calvin.

Hobbes looked up. Calvin had somehow broke the paddle in two, and now, it was two paddles.

"here." said Calvin handing Hobbes one of the ends.

"you row this side, I'll row that side."

Hobbes rolled his eyes and turned the water.

Calvin turned around too. he began to furiously paddle the water. then he noticed, that they were going in circles.

"HOBBES!" Calvin screamed, "PADDLE ON YOUR SIDE!"

"I CAN'T!" Hobbes yelled back.

"your making me sick!" just then Calvin heard a splash.

Hobbes had dropped the paddle.

Calvin stopped rowing. It was then, that he saw a VERY angry John Chill standing over him.

gulp.

"Oh." exclaimed Calvin. "Hi, Mr Inspector Cold! How are ya?"

Chill glared down at him.

"I know this looks bad," said Calvin. "But let me hasten to add that I can explain everything! No kidding!"

"Go ahead, and explain." snarled Chill.

"Right." said Calvin, grinning nervously up at Chill. "You see my tiger here, Hobbes, he was supposed to be rowing on that side while I rowed on that side! And, well, he dropped the paddle, in the water.... and...."

Calvin stopped, struggling to think of what to say next.

"You cut the paddle in two." said Chill, coldly. "You broke very expensive equipment, didn't you? Then, you lost it in the lake, didn't you?"

"IT WASN'T ME!" Calvin insisted. "HOBBES DID IT! LOCK HIM UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY! HIS FAULT! HIS FAULT! HIS FAULT!"

"Calvin," Chill growled. "Do expect me to believe that your teddy bear threw the paddle into the lake?"

"Yes?" Calvin guessed.

"Well, then," snapped Chill. "Why don't you and your teddy go into your cabin for rest of the day, and discuss it?"

"THE REST OF THE DAY!" cried Calvin. "IT'S TWO O'CLOCK!"

"That's to bad." said Chill. "Make the best of it."

Calvin grumbled, grabbed the stuffed tiger, and slouched over to the boy's cabin. Complaining the whole way.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I DEMAND A LAWYER! THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! THIS IS TYRANNY! INSANITY! A TOTAL INSULT TO CALVIN NAME!"

"Calvin?" Hobbes said.

"WHAT!" Calvin yelled.

"Your heading for the girl's cabin. The boy's cabin is here."

"Oh." said a very embarrassed Calvin.

"I knew that." Calvin walked into the boy's cabin.

"I can't believe I was sent here for the rest of the day!" Calvin complained.

"Well," said Hobbes sticking out his tongue at Calvin. "Because of you, and your 'Hobbes did it!' routine, I got sent here too. I hope your happy."

Calvin glared at him. "HEY! You DID drop the paddle!"

"Only 'cause you were making me sick!" replied Hobbes in a calm voice. "Besides, you were the one you snapped the paddle in half!"

"Hey!" yelled Calvin. "I thought that was what I was supposed to do! You can't blame me for not knowing how to work one of those things!"

"You should have asked Chill for help." insisted Hobbes.

Calvin grumbled, and slumped into a chair.

"I'm sick of it, here." Calvin said. "Why did mom have to sign me up to this!"

Hobbes didn't answer. He turned his head to the window, and looked out.

His eyes widened, as he looked outside.

"Calvin, c'mere!" he said, motioning for Calvin to come.

Calvin jumped off the chair, and walked over to where Hobbes was.

Calvin looked out into the vast territories of where they now stood.

Calvin looked out over the beautiful snow capped mountains, and huge forests that surrounded it. The lake seemed like a sparkling wonderland and just increased the beauty of the wonderful scenery that Calvin and Hobbes now feasted their eyes.

"I'll bet we're missing some great shows on TV right now." Calvin whined.

Hobbes rolled his eyes, and continued to look out at the wonderful scene before him.

That night, Calvin and Hobbes snuck out of their cabin.

Calvin's pockets were stuffed with water balloons.

"To the lake." Calvin whispered.

The two slid down the hill to lake, Calvin filled up the water balloons,

"ok," Calvin murmured. "To the girl's cabin!"

Calvin and Hobbes tiptoed up to the girl's cabin.

"What are you going to do?" Hobbes whispered. "Burst in there and start throwing water balloons in every direction?"

Calvin ignored him. "Come on, Hobbes, give me a boost."

"Why?"

"we're gonna wait on the roof for Susie to come out, of corse!!"

Hobbes shrugged, and started to pick Calvin up at the feet.

"OOOF!" Grunted Hobbes. "What did you eat for breakfast? Bricks?"

With great effort, Hobbes pushed Calvin on top of the roof.

Then Calvin pulled Hobbes up.

For a long time, the two sat there, and nothing happened.

Then Calvin heard something.

"Get ready!" Calvin exclaimed, and he held the water balloon over the side of the cabin.

But no girl came out.

Then Hobbes heard it.

A rustle. Maybe a bush in the wind? No. there was no wind. This was very calm night.

"Calvin are you sure that's Susie?" he asked.

Calvin turned his head to Hobbes. "No, but I'm not taking a chance of missing her!"

The rustling happened again, and this time Hobbes was sure it didn't happen in the cabin. So was Calvin.

Very slowly, Calvin and Hobbes turned their heads to the forest next to them.

There sat a lone bush. Something was rustling in side it.

"Hobbes?" Calvin asked. "Yes?" Hobbes replied.

"Is that bush moving?"

"Yes."

There was a moment of silence.

"You know, Hobbes," Calvin said finally. "I'm awfully tired, what do say we turn in?"

"Couldn't agree more." Hobbes replied.

The two jumped off the girl's cabin, leaving the water balloons, and ran for the boy's cabin. Screaming the whole way, and waking up the whole summer camp.

Just before the two dove into the boy's cabin, Hobbes looked back at the girl's cabin.

A single, grey, tentacle was reaching over the roof of the girl's cabin, and pulling the last water balloon off.

Hobbes screamed harder, and slammed the door of the cabin.

The whole place shook, and everyone in the area, woke with a start.


	4. The Attack of the Water Balloons

Chapter 4

"WHAT IS GONG ON HERE!" boomed Instructor Chill, bursting into the boy's cabin.

A small boy with buck teeth pointed at Calvin and Hobbes, who, at the moment, were cowering under the covers of their bed.

"What is going on here!" repeated Chill. "Why are you even awake!"

Calvin stuck his head out from under the covers.

"Uh...." he stuttered. "Is that a trick question?"

"You have woken up the whole of Camp Pine!" bellowed Chill. "Explain your actions!"

Calvin rolled his eyes around. "um... well.... you see... there was this bush, and a... a forest, and... um... the bush was shaking, and... well the water balloons were stolen, and uhhh... Susie.... something..."

the entire cabin stared at Calvin.

"What are you talking about?" Chill asked.

"It's a riddle!" Calvin said quickly. "I'm shook up by a mysterious force, and can't barley talk!!! And you have to de-code the code! See ya!"

Calvin leaped back under the covers.

"Calvin get out from under there." Chill sighed. "What happened?"

Calvin didn't answer.

Chill stared at him for a long moment.

"Go back to sleep." he told the rest of the cabin, and he walked out of the cabin.

"Aaawwwww." said Moe's mocking voice. "Is poor little twinky SCARED of the dark?"

"Shut up, Moe." Calvin muttered.

"Oooooooo" said the rest of Moe's gang.

Moe walked over to Calvin. "Answer me, twinky, it wouldn't be polite, if you didn't.

Calvin sat up. "And Mr Inspector Cold wouldn't be to proud on how your acting."

Moe laughed. "Chill's not here." he said, coldly.

"Good point." said Calvin rolling his eyes around.

Calvin noticed an open window next to his bed.

"Hadn't thought of that."

"Now, I'm gonna pound ya, and enjoy every second of it." said Moe.

Calvin grabbed Hobbes and swung him at Moe. "BITE HIM! HOBBES! BITE HIM!"

Calvin had swung Hobbes around so fast, that he knocked Moe in the head, and Moe fell over.

Calvin grinned. "Bye, bye, Moe! I'm not gonna take this any longer! When Chill asks where I am, tell him you forced me to the edge!"

and with that, Calvin grabbed his backpack with everything in it, and scrambled out the window, with Hobbes close behind.

"GET BACK HERE, TWINKY!" Moe yelled after him, but Calvin just kept on running.

"Where are we going?" Hobbes puffed. "The forest! They'll never find us!"

Calvin replied. Hobbes stared at him in disbelief. "Calvin! That's where that THING is!" he yelled.

"We'll avoid it!" Calvin shot back.

"But... but... but we've never explored this forest before! We might get lost!"

"There's a trail, we'll be able to go through it!"

Hobbes knew he wasn't going to win this argument. So he rushed into the forest, with Calvin in the lead.

They ran for a long time.

Trying to avoid the various monsters of the forest. Like tree monsters, or bush monsters, or leaf monsters! Stuff like that.

They ran and they ran till the sun up. And by then, they were exhausted.

Hobbes yawned and lied down. So did Calvin.

"I... have... nev...er....ran...so...far...in...all..my...life!" Hobbes gasped.

Calvin reply was a wheezy gasp.

They lied there for a long time. Sleeping, and regaining their energy.

Meanwhile, back at Camp Pine, Chill was reading everyone's names off a list to see if they were there.

"Susie?"

"Here."

"Moe?"

"Here."

"Candice?"

"Here."

"Calvin?"

no response.

"CALVIN?"

no response.

"Where is Calvin?" Chill said coldly.

"YOU!" he pointed a hairy finger at Moe. "Did you happen to see Calvin last night?" he whispered, menacingly.

Moe gulped, and shook his head.

"WHERE IS CALVIN!" Chill boomed.

The small boy with buck teeth slowly rose his hand.

Chill rolled his head over to the boy. "Yes, Alex?"

"He ran away, instructor." Alex said. "Him and his stuffed tiger."

Chill's eyes bulged. "WHAT!" he screamed. "WHAT!"

Alex winced, and backed away from Chill.

"WHY WOULD CALVIN HAVE ANY REASON TO RUN AWAY!" boomed Chill. "WELL?!"

Susie raised her hand, fearlessly, and said, "Moe, sir, Moe is always bulling Calvin. Calvin might have ran off because of him. After all, Calvin had to sleep with him."

Chill's eyes shot at Moe like bullets. "Is that so?" he hissed. Moe grinned, nervously.

Chill started toward Moe.

When all at once, Candice burst out of the girl's cabin.

Chill hadn't notice her go. Chill's head shot up, as Candice started dialing a number on the telephone.

RING! RING! RING!

"Dear, will you get that?" Calvin's mom said.

"Sure, honey" said Calvin's dad, and he picked up the phone.

"Hello? Yes this he. HE WHAT?!?!"

mom's head shot up. "What?" she asked.

Dad held up his hand to silence her. "Yes. Yes. No. yes. Yes right away, thank you!"

he slammed the phone onto the receiver. "Calvin's run away from the camp, and now he's lost in the woods."

Mom gasped.

Dad grabbed the phone, and dialed 911.

"Hello!" dad said quickly. "My son is lost!"

there was a moment of silence in which the 911 operator told dad to calm down.

Dad explained everything.

"Don't worry," the operator said. "We'll send search and rescue over to camp pine."

dad hung up, and told mom to get ready.

Minutes later, they were in the car, and off the summer camp.

Chill stared at Candice. "what did you just do?" he hissed.

"I called Calvin's parents. They're sending search and rescue over."

Chill stared her. "THAT'S MY JOB!" he yelled.

Candice drew back in fear.

Chill looked around all the terrified kids around him.

He was obviously not having a good day.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes had woke up, and were continuing on the trail.

The following is the conversation they held.

"So, what do you think that thing was last night?" asked Hobbes "ya know, Hobbes," Calvin said. "I think we might of over reacted. That might of just have been a chipmunk." "But I saw something." said Hobbes. "What?" asked Calvin. Hobbes explained about the grey tentacle that had taken their water balloons. "You mean..." started Calvin but just then Calvin felt something cold, and wet hit him.

He was knocked to the ground. Sopping wet.

"What on Earth?" Calvin stuttered. Just then Hobbes was hit with one of the cold wet things.

Hobbes stumbled. "CALVIN!" Hobbes exclaimed. "THAT WAS A WATER BALLOON!"

a terrible silence moved over them. But it didn't last long, because another water balloon came within inches of hitting him again.

"OUR WATER BALLOONS!" Calvin said.

"Our stolen water balloons." muttered Hobbes.

Then they both said together. "The ones stolen by..."

just then another water balloon hit Hobbes in the back of the head.

"RUN HOBBES!" Calvin screamed. the two started running, and all at once, the air was filled with water balloons.

Every now and then Calvin or Hobbes would look over their shoulders to see where the balloons were coming from, but a balloon would always hit them in the face.

Then the water balloons stopped. but Calvin and Hobbes kept running and screaming. After about three hours of running they stopped.

they looked all around them, but saw no one.

Gasping for breath, they continued on the trail. But they couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching them.

Meanwhile, Calvin's parents and Search and Rescue had just arrived.

Chill was talking with Calvin's parents while the men at Search and Rescue ran into the forest.

After a while, Calvin and Hobbes came to a sign that said,

**WARNING:**

**NO ESTABLISHED TRAILS BEYOND THIS POINT**

Calvin and Hobbes stared at it. Then Calvin said, "come on, Hobbes, lets go!"

Hobbes looked into wilderness ahead.

"Do you think we ought to?" he said nervously.

Calvin stared at him. "Yeah, I think we ought to." he said matter-of-factly.

Hobbes looked a little nervous, then walked into the uncharted wilderness with his buddy.

For a long time Calvin and Hobbes climbed over rugged rock slides, and through dense forests, each time getting a new cut or bruise.

Finally Calvin whined. "I wanna go home."

Hobbes looked behind him. He saw.... dense forests, fallen trees, and rock slides.

"Well, lets go back then." he said.

They turned around and walked in the other direction.

"Hobbes, do you recognize any of this?" Calvin finally asked.

Hobbes shook his head.

Calvin started to cry. "I WANNA GO HOME! I'VE BEEN BULLIED BY MOE, TORTURED BY INSPECTOR COLD, I'M LOST IN THE FOREST, AND THERE ARE MONSTERS AFTER US! I WANNA GO HOOOOOOMMMME!"

Hobbes stared at Calvin. Never in his entire life had he saw Calvin break down sobbing.

"It's ok, Calvin." Hobbes said gently. "I'll always be here for you."

Calvin sniffed, and gave his friend a big hug.

"Hey!" said Hobbes enthusiastically. "There's a good camp site!"

Calvin looked up. There, ahead of them was a small flat area. A place where'd you'd like to put up a tent and camp fire.

All at once Calvin stopped crying. "COOL!" he yelled. "I DON'T HAVE A TENT! BUT WE CAN MAKE ONE! COME ON, OLD BUDDY!"

Calvin and Hobbes ran over to site.

"Quick, Hobbes," said Calvin. "go get some long sticks."

Hobbes shrugged, and started pulling branches off the trees around them.

Calvin reached into his large hiking backpack, and pulled out a green tarp.

Hobbes stared at it. "Why did you bring a tarp with you?" he asked as he ripped a branch off one of the trees.

"My motto is always be prepared." said Calvin.

Hobbes shrugged, and ripped off another branch.

After he had a lot of branches, he walked over to where Calvin stood. "How do you plan to make a tent with tree bark and large, green, pieces of construction paper?"

Calvin ignored him. "Put this stick up." he said handing Hobbes one of the sticks.

Hobbes plunged the stick into the soft ground a little farther down, Calvin plunged another stick into the ground.

Then Calvin and Hobbes plunged sticks on the other side, then Calvin took the tarp, and put it over the two sticks, making a small tent.

Then Calvin pulled out a sleeping bag.

"I only have one." said Calvin. "We're gonna have to share this one."

Calvin pushed the sleeping bag into the tent.

Hobbes stared at Calvin "since when are you a camping expert?" he asked. "You hate camping."

"Hobbes," Calvin said. "Dad has taken me on so many torture trips and forced me to learn this stuff, remember?"

"Oh." said Hobbes rolling his eyes. "Of corse."

Meanwhile, Susie was sitting in the girl's cabin.

Watching as people raced into the forest after Calvin.

"Do ya think he's ok?" asked Candice.

"I wouldn't exactly mind if he got mauled and eaten alive." said Susie. "The wolves would be doing us a favor."

Candice grinned. "True, but I've almost never seen the kid."

"He's terrible!" Susie exclaimed. "He throws water balloons at me, and does all he can to torture me! He even has a stupid club call G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS!)"

Candice rolled her eyes.

Meanwhile, Search and rescue came upon footsteps.

"Hey comere!" one of them said, motioning for one of the members to come over.

He came over, and stared at the ground.

There, on the ground. Were the remains of water balloons, runnining footsteps of a small boy and tiger, and....

"do you recognize that kind of foot print?" asked the Search and Rescue member.

"No." said the other.

There in the dirt, next to all the water balloon fragments and foot prints that belonged to world's truly, were long pushes in the ground, it looked like someone or something was crawling across the ground.... ON TENTACLES!


	5. Bugeyed Aliens From Zok!

_Swing123_: right! You want the suspense to end? Well here ya go!

chapter 5

Calvin and Hobbes sat around a camp fire.

They were telling scary stories.

"And then...." Calvin hissed in his scariest voice, "Susie walked down stairs only to find a foggy mist drifting along the ground!"

Hobbes's eyes grew wide.

"And then...." Calvin paused for dramatic effect. "The bug-eyed monster leaped from the shadows and GOT 'ER!"

Hobbes screamed.

Calvin laughed.

"Your turn." Calvin chuckled.

Hobbes wiped the sweat from his brow, and said,

"there once was a guy in the jungle that got eaten by tiger. There. Can we go to bed now?"

Calvin rolled his eyes around. "well I am kinda sleepy." he said.

"Good, now we can..." Hobbes stopped.

he stared out into the darkness, his eyes wide.

"What are you looking at?" yawned Calvin.

Hobbes didn't answer, but continued to stare off into the darkness. "What's that smell?" he asked quietly.

Calvin sniffed the air. At once, a terrible, musky, smell filled his nostrils.

He coughed. "GAD!" he yelled. "THAT SMELLS **HORRIBLE!** WHAT IS IT!"

Hobbes held his hand up to silence Calvin.

"Lets go check it out." he whispered.

Calvin an Hobbes stood up, and began to walk toward the smell.

Just then Hobbes stopped. and Calvin ran into him, and nearly had a heart attack.

"Shh!" Hobbes hissed.

He looked around. "Hobbes I see nothing, and the smell is gone."

Calvin yawned, and leaned against a tree.

Calvin was shocked when the tree gave way, and a trap door opened up, sending the two hurdling down a dark tunnel. Screaming the whole way. But they hit soft ground.

Calvin uncovered his eyes, and looked around.

"HOBBES!" he exclaimed. Hobbes opened one eye.

Seconds later the other eye popped open.

Calvin had pushed a secret lever, and now Calvin and Hobbes were in a dark, underground passageway.

But it wasn't so dark that Calvin and Hobbes didn't see skulls lined up around the tunnel.

"I must find their designer." Hobbes said studying a skull that lie in the dust.

"What's that?" Calvin whispered.

Hobbes looked up.

It was then that he heard voices.

Calvin and Hobbes tiptoed down the dark tunnel, till they came to a door that was open a crack.

That crack was just enough to shed some light into the tunnel.

The voices were loud, now. Calvin pressed his ear against the door, and listened.

A high, shrill, hacksaw voice cut through the silence. "You fool! Why haven't you caught the Supreme Earth Potante, yet! Have you been messing with those liquid forms of Earth entertainment!"

then a more squeaky voice answered. "My apologies, master, my troops haven't caught up with him yet, but we're hot on his trail."

"You better be." the first voice hissed. "Ever since he ran away from that stupid form of..... what is it? Sapper Map?"

"Summer camp, master." the second voice replied.

"Whatever." said the first voice. "Ever since he ran away from that Earth activity, our plans have been in complete shambles!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Tell your troops to work harder! We need to find him before that Earth rescue team finds him! GO!"

there was much scrambling in the room, then silence.

Calvin and Hobbes peaked inside. The room was totally empty except for a table, with a bunch of papers on it.

Calvin rushed inside, grabbed the papers, and raced back to Hobbes.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Hobbes hissed. "You can't take that!"

Calvin ignored him, and raced back down the tunnel.

Hobbes followed. Back at the tent, Calvin and Hobbes felt very un-easy.

Calvin raced into the tent, and pulled his backpack out.

he rummaged through all the junk, till he came to his baseball bat.

He handed it to Hobbes. Who stared at him. "What's this?" he asked.

"Smack anything that comes out, buddy." Calvin said.

And with that, he dove into the tent.

"HEY! WHY DO **I** HAVE TO STAND GUARD!" Hobbes yelled. "WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT?"

Calvin ignored him. He studied the papers. His eyes growing wide as he read them.

TOP SECRET

operation: kill Earth

since our Capture of two small aliens; Galaxoid and Nebular, we have learned of a planet called Earth. Being run by a Supreme Earth Potante called Calvin. Learning of this planet gave us a great idea. We, the Zartchers of planet Zok will take Earth and turn it into a army ground to kill other planets! But first we must dispose of the SEP. which shouldn't be to hard.

Calvin stopped reading. And for a very good reason. He had fainted, right on the spot, and didn't wake till morning.


	6. The Attack

Chapter 6

"oooooh." said Calvin rubbing his head the next day. "What happened?"

Hobbes looked up. "What? Oh, you fainted 'cause you were looking at bunch of papers or something like that."

Calvin's eyes came into focus. "HOBBES!" he yelled. "Those bug-eyed aliens are after me! They've captured Galixoid and Nebluar and taken them hostage! THEY THINK THAT I'M THE SUPREME EARTH POTANTE!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes. "Well, if you hadn't have told those two you were the Supreme Earth Potante, this wouldn't be happening."

Calvin paced back and forth in front of Hobbes. "We gotta get going, Hobbes." he said. "Those aliens are sure to find us if we stay here."

"I'll pack the comic books." said Hobbes reaching for a pile of comic books next to the tent.

A few minutes later Calvin and Hobbes were back to walking. Through the uncharted wilderness.

Meanwhile, A search and rescue team member walks up to Calvin's parents at Camp Pine.

"We have been searching the area, Mr. And Mrs... um... I forgot your names. Anyway, I am very sorry to say, that the chances of a child surviving in the wilderness for this long... well it's very slim. We are now, actually looking for a body, now. I'm sorry."

there was a moment of silence, then, mom began to break down crying, while dad patted her on the back.

Susie's mouth dropped open. "Calvin's dead?" she exclaimed. "That can't be!"

Moe looked absolutely terrified. (Remember, he sent Calvin running into the forest in the first place)

Candice was very surprised at this news.

But Chill... Chill showed neither sadness, nor happiness. He didn't even show shock. He just stood there. His arms crossed. And then he said, and I mean with straight face, he said; "too bad."

Calvin and Hobbes continued down the mountain.

Hobbes looked out over the fantastic view over the cliff side.

Then Hobbes saw something. A lizard was crawling across a rock. A devilish smile curled over Hobbes' lips.

He shot a glace at Calvin. He was huffing and puffing over the weight of the pack. He wasn't going very fast.

Hobbes' eyes slid back over to the lizard. By now it had spotted Hobbes, and was scurrying away.

Hobbes crouched down, and pounced at the lizard. Dust went everywhere, as Hobbes slammed his paws into different areas.

At last, the dust settled. Hobbes lifted his right paw. No lizard. He lifted his left paw. No lizard.

Hobbes sighed, and stood up.

He looked over the mountains again.

His eyes bulged. Something grey was emerging from the undergrowth.

Something grey... WITH TENTACLES! A pair of yellow compound eyes fixed on Hobbes.

Hobbes stared at the monster for a second, and then, he just vanished. ZOOM! Hobbes was gone.

Calvin was in the process of climbing over a rock when Hobbes suddenly appeared in a cloud of dust.

Calvin's head shot up. "HOW DO YOU DO THAT!" he demanded.

Hobbes began to jab his fingers behind him and babbling. "Daa, daa, dee, dee, faa, faa, eee, eee..."

Calvin stared at him. "Hobbes, if I wanted you talk like that, I'd put a football in your mouth and tell you to start talking about the weather."

Hobbes' eyes rolled into the back of his head. When they came back into focus, he stared behind Calvin.

A strip of hair rose along his back, he bared his fangs, and started to growl.

"Now what are you doing?" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes hit the switch blade in his paws, and his claws shot out.

"oh for..." Calvin turned around. "Hobbes I see noth..."

just then a laser bolt hit the tip of Calvin's hair.

Calvin's eyes bulged as the little piece of hair burned to a crisp, and floated to the ground.

"RUN!" Calvin screamed, and he ran off. Hobbes close behind.

Just then a terrible hacksaw laugh cut through the silence.

Calvin and Hobbes stopped, and slowly turned their heads to... YIKES! It was terrible! A huge grey tentacled thing crawled down from a tree. It had over twenty tentacles at the bottom. And two tentacles in the middle that acted as hands. Oh, and it had huge yellow compound eyes. A large grin crossed the alien's face. Revealing... hmmm. Where had Calvin seen those sharp teeth before?

The alien laughed again.

Calvin and Hobbes back away from the alien only to bump into something big, slimy, and full of tentacles.

Calvin and Hobbes screamed, and ran toward the south. Jumping over fallen trees, and leaping over rocks.

They didn't get far.

All at once, the two skidded to a stop. Just in time to prevent falling off a cliff.

Calvin looked down. There, over seventeen miles straight down, was a bunch of jagged rocks and a small stream.

Calvin's eyes came up. He gulped. He turned around. over a million of crazed, insane, bug-eyed, and slobbering aliens were slouching toward him.

Calvin whimpered, and hugged Hobbes in fear.

Hobbes growled at the aliens. Who laughed, and continued toward them. "This is going to be easier than I thought." Snarled one of the aliens. "All we have to do is push you off this cliff."

"You'll have to do me first." Hobbes hissed.

"Very well." said another alien. "Which death do you prefer?"

Hobbes growled again, and held his claws up.

The aliens laughed.

"Watch this." said one of the aliens. He raised a ray gun and pointed at Hobbes.

Before Hobbes could get out of the way, a red light shot out of the gun, and struck Hobbes.

Hobbes stared in horror as an energy force field began to cover Hobbes up.

Hobbes turned his head to Calvin. A look of terror covered his face.

Calvin would never forget that expression.

Calvin stared at Hobbes in panic.

Then before his eyes, Hobbes began to change.

His mouth seemed to have been stitched into a frown. Those shiny eyes began to look more and more like a pair of glass marbles. His feet and paws turned into tiny, white, stubs. Then he began to shrink.

Then he hit the ground.

An eerie silence moved over the area. Everything seemed dark.

Calvin stared down at Hobbes. He was no longer the tall, big cat he had always known. He was now just a small stuffed animal laying motionless on the ground.

"NO!" Calvin screamed. he raced over to Hobbes and gave him a big hug.

He began to cry. "You said you'd always be here for me." he whispered.

Just then a loud hacksaw laugh cut through Calvin's sobs. "Awww. Poor wittle Calvin doesn't have a tiger buddy anymore! Poor Cally."

Calvin's head shot up. He felt a rage that he never felt before. his teeth gritted. His eyes crossed, his hands shook and clenched into shaking fists. And all at once life came down to three words: DEATH TO ALIENS!

Yes maybe he would get amputated from the face of the earth, too. But not before he took a few aliens with him.

_Swing: yes, don't worry. Hobbes will come back. It wouldn't be Calvin and Hobbes if he didn't._


	7. The Return of G and N

Chapter 7

Deep inside Calvin's brain, those little Calvins wearing the goggles and helmets were working at full capacity.

"WARNING!" called one of them. "the anger meter is overloading!"

several Calvins turned their heads and stared at the main computer screen.

It was flashing a red light.

At this all the Calvins began to panic.

"HURRY!" yelled one of them. "GET SOME WATER! WE NEED TO COOL DOWN!"

the Calvins who weren't completely lost in panic, began to fill buckets of water and hand them down the control room.

Just then, an alarm went off.

The entire control room flashed in red lights.

"RUN!" They all screamed. "SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"

all the Calvins raced out of the control room in blind panic.

You think Calvin went screaming right into the middle of the aliens hitting as many as he could, right?

Go ahead and admit it.

well, you're wrong.

Calvin strongly considered this, but instead, his mind hatched up something even better.

something that blow their socks off.

Calvin's mind raced.

He thought of Chill, he thought of the startling discovery he made in the papers he stole, then he thought of Hobbes' dramatic change.

He decided to put his plan into action.

The aliens handcuffed him and Hobbes and led him across the wilderness.

After five hours of walking, they came to large grove of trees, weeds, and undergrowth.

The alien in front reached into his pocket, returning seconds later with a small device that looked like a remote control.

He... or she... hmm, it was hard to tell. IT pushed the red button in the middle, and all at once, the trees shot into the ground. The ground began to shake, and all at once, a huge spaceship emerged from the bushes and weeds.

The alien turned a grin on Calvin.

" pretty impressive, huh?"

Calvin ignored him.

The alien pushed Calvin onto the ship.

Then, they led Calvin down a dark hallway.

They pushed him into a small circular glass chamber.

"I WANT HOBBES!" screamed Calvin.

With a small splat, the small stuffed animal landed in Calvin's face.

"we're gonna send you to the planet you call Jupiter." said one of the aliens. "we'll let that gas planet take care you."

the alien slammed his tentacle onto a button on the control panel, and a cool robot voice sounded.

"ten minutes till launch." the aliens laughed, and left Calvin alone in the chamber.

Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"well, buddy, I guess this is the last chapter in Calvin and Hobbes history."

Hobbes gave Calvin a blank stuffed animal stare.

Calvin gave his friend a gentle hug.

Just then he heard a voice.

OH NO! was it the aliens planning to mock him even more!

then he heard it again. He turned around.

Through the glass Calvin saw two blurred shapes.

Calvin squinted at them. These were too small for those huge grey aliens. no, this was something smaller.

Calvin's eyes popped open. "YOU TWO!" he exclaimed.

"see, Nublar?" said one of the shapes. "it IS the SEP. Look at the hair."

"yes, Galixoid." replied the other. "apparently, I have lost the bet. I owe you ten geekoids."

Calvin's eyes cut from side to side. He was just sure his plan was going to work, now. He just wouldn't be the one to carry it out.

A hiker stomps up a hill. He has his head down, and he's panting.

Just then, he sees some footprints.

He stops.

He takes out his footprint guide, and began to flip through it.

"Hmmm." he observed. "too big for a bobcat. Too small for a Lynx. Not a Mountain Lion... hmmm."

he continues to flip through the book.

"This may be a... what? no. that's impossible. There are no tigers in North America! They are strictly Asia dwellers!"

he continues down the trail, till he came to more footprints.

Or TENTACLE-prints would be more accurate.

"I don't recognized these at all!" he exclaimed.

he began to run down the trail. Then he came to the cliff.

"this is most strange." he observed. he stared down at more tiger footprints.

He could tell that it was walking on two legs, and was walking... no stumbling backward.

The man's eyes grew wide as the tiger footprints changed into little stubs, then an

impression on the ground that signaled, that someone VERY small had fell over.

The Man got up, and brushed the dust off himself.

"very strange. I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT THIS!" and with that, he ran off.

"hey guys!" Calvin yelled. "I'm sorry to interrupt this conversation, but I need help."

Galixoid and Nublar turned at stared at him. "yes, of corse, we can do anything for you."

said Galixoid. "we can get you a ham sandwich, we can get you a computer, we could get you an internet modem, we get you a link to Calvin exclaimed. "I need one of those ray guns those aliens use. could you escape from this dudgeon of doom and get one?"

"of corse!" yelled Nublar. "but we don't have to escape. we have joined up with the alien's crew!"

Calvin stared at them. "what? you're not prisoners?"

they shook their heads.

"then what is the meaning of this stuff about you being trapped?"

"well, I don't know." said Nublar. "All we know is that we talked the alien's into trusting us."

"How'd ya do that?" Calvin asked.

"We have no idea." said Galixoid.

just then the computer announced that only nine minutes remained, before Calvin was sent to Jupiter.

"never mind that!" Calvin yelled. "you need to get me one of those ray guns! YOU HAVE TO!"

"righto" the two said cheerfully, and they left.

"NO WAIT!" Calvin exclaimed. "YOU MORONS! PUSH THE BUTTON TO GET ME OUT OF HERE! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

they didn't hear him.

The two raced down the hallway pausing for nothing.

Just then, a huge alien stepped into their way.

Galixoid stopped, and Nublar ran into him.

"what are you two doing?" he asked.

"hi, bob." said Nublar. "we were just on our way to the weaponry mph, murp snirk skittle."

Galixoid slapped a tentacle over Nublar's mouth.

"he means the cafeteria." said Galixoid. "he feels that getting enough to eat is like arming yourself with weapons! Isn't that hilarious?"

Bob stared at the two, who gave him big innocent grins.

Bob blinked twice then said.

"you two do nothing BUT eat." and with that, he slithered away.

The two aliens sighed with relief, then continued on the race against time.

"FIVE MINUTES UNTIL LAUNCH." said the cool robot voice.

Calvin was nearly at panic. what would Hobbes do at a time like this?

Galixoid and Nublar burst into the weaponry room.

They looked all around, then their eyes fell on a ray gun on the wall.

Nublar grabbed it, and they raced out.

"THREE MINUTES UNTIL LAUNCH."

Calvin's eyes bulged.

"HURRY!" Calvin screamed in panic.

Galixoid and Nublar stopped. they were right in front of the alien meeting room.

The door was open, and the aliens were having a meeting.

As quick as a flash, Galixoid zipped across.

One of the aliens looked up, but then returned to his paperwork.

Nublar hesitated, Then, he race across.

Several aliens looked up. "NUBLAR! GET HERE!" one screamed.

Nublar's eyes bulged.

"I'll go." said Galixoid.

he went into the meeting room.

Moments later shouts of "GET HIM!" and "TIE HIM UP!"

filled the room and echoed down the hallway.

Nublar raced down the hallway.

Aware that the aliens no longer trusted them.

"ONE MINUTE UNTIL LAUNCH"

Nublar dove into the dudgeon.

Calvin screamed and banged his fists on the glass chamber.

Nublar raced across the room.

the control panel looked like it was all the way across the horizon.

"30 SECONDS UNTIL LAUNCH"

sweat poured of Nublar's face.

He heard the aliens behind him, screaming and yelling.

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN..."

Nublar jumped into the air.

"FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE..."

Nublar hit the button just in time.

Calvin's glass chamber opened up.

just then, a pair of tentacles wrapped around Nublar.

Nublar squealed and threw the gun at Calvin.

Calvin grabbed it.

The aliens ignored Calvin, and drug Nublar out of the room.

Calvin turned to Hobbes. "get ready for a shock ol buddy."

he pulled the trigger.

Hobbes' eyes came back to focus. his stubs grew into full fledged paws. so did his feet. the stitched frown un-did itself.

Hobbes stood up, and looked around.

"where are we?" he asked. "the cliff... the... wait a minute."

he looked down at himself.

"I'M ME AGAIN! WOO HOO!"

Calvin grinned.

"Hobbes." he said. "why did you turn into a stuffed animal when they shot you?"

Hobbes stared at Calvin as if wondering if he should answer or not.

He didn't get the chance to, because at that very moment... something very bad happened.


	8. Technical Difficulties

Chapter 7

Over a billion aliens burst into the room.

They all surrounded Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin searched their faces.

YIKES!

It looked like they hadn't come to wish him happy birthday.

One of the aliens opened it's slimy mouth and said; "you have taunted us enough Earth Potentate! You have ruined all our plans since the beginning! NOW YOU WILL PAY!"

Hobbes, who had had enough of the aliens, backed away while growling a warning to them.

The aliens ignored him. They were closing in on Calvin.

Calvin looked around frantically.

His eyes fell on a small device on the desk. A label with "brain blast" was spread across it.

Calvin dived for it.

The aliens dived for Calvin.

Hobbes stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do.

Billions of tentacles wrapped around Calvin as Calvin grabbed the device, and pulled the trigger.

BOOM!

All the aliens were shot backward.

Hobbes covered his face as a blast of blinding light filled the room.

Calvin stood up, looking energized.

He turned to Hobbes.

"That was cool." he said to the tiger.

Hobbes wasn't looking at Calvin. He was looking at the shadowy figures that were emerging from the wreckage.

It wasn't Galixoid and Nebular.

It wasn't any of the aliens.

It wasn't John Chill either.

"DON'T WORRY, GALIXOID!" Nebular screamed. "I WILL SAVE YOU! NEVER FEAR! I AM HERE!"

"Nebular?" Galixoid said. " they caught you too."

Nebular stared out of his cell as if thinking about what Galixoid had said.

"Now then," said the chief alien. "you will pay dearly for ruining our plans."

Nebular's eyes bulged. "NO!" He exclaimed.

"YES!" The alien howled.

"NO!" Nebular cried.

"YES!" the alien screeched.

"We'll never give you our food!" Nebular screamed.

The alien looked shocked.

"Huh?" he asked.

"NEVER! NEVER!" yelled Nebular. "DO YOUR WORST!"

the alien turned to the alien next to him. "Well he just ruined the drama." he said.

Just then, loud banging sounds echoed out the door.

The aliens turned.

"How long has that door been glowing?" one of them asked.

"MAN!" screamed Calvin's voice. "YOU GUYS NOTICE NOTHING! I HAD TO BANG ON THE DUMB DOOR!"

Just then the door exploded.

Hobbes stepped into the doorway. He crossed his arms and grinned.

"Prepare yourself." he said. "In thought Calvin was annoying..."

he pointed down at FOUR Calvins! Yes, it was Tracer Bullet, Stupendous man and Spaceman Spiff!

"well try walking down a hall with four of them!" he finished.

Calvin grinned. "Heros, detectives, spacemen and tigers!" he said. "The enemy has been spotted! Release attack one!"

Hobbes, Stupendous man and Spiff dove right into the middle of the aliens.

Calvin stood in the doorway, cheering them on.

"GO SPIFF GO! GREAT LEAP TO THE FRONT HOBBES! LOOK OUT STUPENDOUS MAN, THERE'S ONE BEHIND YOU!"

It was then that Calvin noticed Tracer Bullet standing next to him.

"Why aren't you fighting?" he asked the detective.

"Gun's not loaded." he said simply.

Calvin turned back to the fight. "CERTAIN UNNAMED PARTIES HERE ARE TOTAL IDIOTS, GUYS! IGNORE THEM, AND CONTINUE!"

"Quit mocking me!" Tracer yelled.

"IDIOTS," yelled Calvin turning back to Tracer. "WHO DON'T LOAD THEIR GUNS BEFORE TERRIBLE FIGHTS!"

"I still have fists, ya know!" Tracer shot back.

"Yeah well, you're just ugly!" Calvin yelled.

Tracer jumped on top of Calvin, and began rolling across the floor.

Hobbes, the two Calvins, and the aliens watched the fight with much entertainment.

"Pass the popcorn, please." Hobbes said to one of the aliens who handed him a bag of popcorn.

Just then, the movie stopped, and a news guy came on screen. "We are facing technical difficulties with Calvin and Hobbes: the movie." he said. "Please stand by."

(7 hours later)

"I'm sure Calvin and Tracer are near a breakthrough." the news guy said, drumming his fingers.

(15 hours later)

"any second now." said the news guy.

(29 hours later)

"HOW LONG IS THIS STUPID MOVIE!" The news guy yelled.

(47 hours later)

"AAAAAAA!" the news guy screamed as he went insane and began tearing out his hair.

(97 hours later)

"pass the popcorn, please." Calvin said to Hobbes, while watching the news guy go insane.

**WE ARE FACING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WITH OUR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY, AND DON'T GO INSANE. YES THE NEWS GUY WAS FIRED, NOW STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS, AND GO SOAK YOUR HEAD YOU BIG BABY! **

(Disregard that last statement.)

The aliens screamed, unable to handle any more of Calvin's army.

They all raced for the Emergency Exit, and tumbled off the spaceship.

Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"Ya did it buddy!" Calvin exclaimed.

Just then a familiar Hacksaw voice cut through the moment of pride and celebration.

"AT LAST! I HAVE YOU JUST WHERE I WANT YOU!"

Calvin spun around.

His eyes bulged.

"YOU!" he exclaimed. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS YOU!"

A tall figure in the shadows threw his head back, and laughed wildly.

"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Oh yeah? Well that's too bad! 'Cause you didn't!"

The tall figure stepped into the clearing.

You'll never guess who he was.

Here's a hint: he wore sunglasses, had black hair, sharp teeth, dog tags, and a T-shirt with Camp Pine written on it.

If you guessed John Howard Chill, then you're right on the money.


	9. HE'S AN ALIEN!

Chapter 9

"I may be tied up in nylon rope, now," said Calvin. "But I now know that YOU'RE to blame."

"Won't do you any good now, Earth Potentate." said Chill crossing his arms.

"Wait a minute!" Hobbes yelled. "You called Calvin the Earth Potentate! Does that mean..."

Chill threw his head back and laughed evilly.

Then, he pushed a button on the control panel. At once, the walls parted, and a small prison cell was shown, revealing...

"THE REAL MR INSPECTOR COLD!" Calvin screamed.

"but then who's the imposter?" asked Spiff.

"I'll give you ten guesses." said the fake Chill.

"Dumbo?" asked Calvin.

"No." said the fake Chill.

"Martha Stuart?" asked Hobbes.

"No." said the fake Chill.

"David Letterman?" asked Galixoid.

"I'll give you a hint." said the fake Chill. "alien"

"GARFIELD!" shouted Calvin.

"JIM CARREY!" screamed Hobbes.

"MARK TWAIN!" insisted Spiff.

"LEMONY SNICKET!" screamed Stupendous man.

"SHERLOCK HOLMES!" cried Tracer.

"THE PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA!" yelled Galixoid.

"THE GUY WHO INVENTED MARBLES!" Nebular yelled.

"HANK THE COWDOG!" Calvin yelled.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" The fake Chill screeched.

"THIS IS WHO I AM!" The fake Chill reached up, and took off his glasses.

There were no human eyes underneath. Instead, there were a pair of compound, bug eyes.

Calvin had only seen those on the aliens.

Calvin gasped.

The fake Chill grabbed his hair, and tore it off too, then his head started to take on the shape of the other alien's heads, (chrome shaped) and his skin started to turn grey. His fingers snapped together, creating tentacles. More tentacles shot out of his sides, and his shoes burst, and two more tentacles grew out.

Then, it was done.

Chill wasn't Chill.

HE WAS AN ALIEN!

"Oops." said the alien. "I forgot something."

he reached over to the desk and picked up a red crown, and put it on top of his slimy head.

Everyone gasped. "HE'S THEIR KING!" everybody yelled.

"Yes" the king hissed. "You almost ruined my plans of taking over Earth, but I ALWAYS get my planet. After all, I already have the rest of the Milky Way under our control."

Spiff had pulled a laser gun out of his utility belt during this speech, and was in the process of lasering the rope off.

Hobbes was doing the same with his claws, Tracer was sticking his gun out, and Stupendous man was using his strength.

(Calvin couldn't do anything about the rope)

"is there any way to set the planets free?" asked Spiff.

"Why should I tell you that?" asked the king.

"We're all tied up." said Hobbes.

"Yeah" said Spiff . "and I was just curious"

The king pointed to a box on the wall marked "control panel"

"there's a button over there that shuts down all our take over a world 3000s."

Just then he noticed Spiff grin evilly.

"What do you have behind your back?" he asked.

"Umm. Nothing?" Spiff guessed, trying to pull the laser back into the rope.

The king glided over to Spiff.

(ok maybe he didn't "glide" but he did something with his tentacles that gave Calvin that impression.)

The king peeked over Spiff's shoulder and SAW... whew.

Ok, relax.

You think he saw Spiff's laser, and all of their plans were ruined, right?

Ha, ha.

Nope.

Do you know what the king saw?

IT WAS CALVIN'S DUFFLE BAG!

"Oh." said the king. "Heh, heh. You'd get sued for obsolete equipment if you had that on MY planet."

he slithered over to the bag.

"Lets see what we have in this dinosaur." he said, sticking his tentacle into the bag.

ZZZZZT!

"AAAAA" the king shot into the air, and electricity surged through him.

"Calvin!" Hobbes said. "He found your hot shot!"

Calvin blinked.

The king turned a dark glare on the bag.

"This thing CAN'T hold a hot shot! The bag will catch fire!" he yelled.

He picked up the bag, turned it upside down, and shook it as hard as he could.

SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE!

Nothing came out.

The king blinked, and shook harder.

SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE!

Nothing.

The king, utterly confused, held the bag over his head, and looked inside.

"I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU!" Calvin warned.

"I'm not you." said the king. "Now shut up while I..."

BONK!

Just then, a key board fell out of the bag, and slammed on top of the kings head.

The king drew back in surprise.

The bag still held over his head. He didn't notice a cord hanging out of the bag over his head.

CRASH!

"There goes my microwave" said Calvin.

CRASH!

"There goes my piano" said Calvin.

CRASH!

"There goes my refrigerator." said Calvin.

CRASH!

"There goes my cloned dinosaur" said Calvin.

(Four minutes later)

CRASH!

"Gee" said Hobbes. "That last cement truck knocked him out cold."

"Out cold?" Spiff asked. "GREAT!"

Spiff snapped the ropes.

Hobbes, Tracer and Stupendous man did the same.

"Great work guys!" Calvin said. "Now untie me!"

nobody turned around.

"Hello?" Calvin asked. "Will someone help me?"

"I'm trying to save the galaxy right now." said Hobbes staring at the control panel.

"I'm trying to start the ship!" said Spiff.

"I'm trying to keep the king 'asleep'" said Stupendous man, slamming his hand into the king's head.

"I'm looking for a room to shove the king into." said Tracer.

Calvin boiled with anger.

(Six hours later)

"Oh look how silly of me!" said Hobbes. "I missed the free other planets button!"

"Oh look, how silly of me!" said Spiff. "I missed the start button."

"Oh look how silly of me!" Said Stupendous man. "I missed the tag that said 'will stay out cold for ten hours'"

"oh look how Silly of me!" said Tracer. "I missed the closet!"

Everyone turned to Calvin, who was struggling with the ropes and yelling unfriendly things.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." everyone said.

This made Calvin angrier.

(Later)

"Spiff I think I should drive the ship." said Calvin, worriedly.

"You know nothing of spaceships." said Spiff, dully. "Sit down."

"Calvin." Hobbes said. "Spiff's been driving spaceships since you made him. Why are you upset?"

"BECAUSE!" Calvin exclaimed. "SPIFF GOES WAY TO..."

just then, the spaceship lurched forward, and Calvin, Hobbes, Tracer, and Stupendous man all slammed into the wall.

"fast" muttered Calvin.

"You guys are just a bunch a weenies." said Spiff, dully.

The spaceship bolted all around the Earth.

Meanwhile, up in the mother ship, two aliens watched the ship zap around.

"Shouldn't they be getting rid of the SEP down there?" asked one of them.

"Oh you know those guys, always running from things." said the other. "They're such a bunch a weenies."

"SPIFF!" Calvin yelled. "STOP THE SHIP ALREADY!"

Spiff pushed the "total shutdown" button on the panel with a bored expression on his face.

SCREEEEE!

SPLAT!

Calvin and the gang all slammed into the window.

Spiff sneered at them.

"Weenies" he said.

Calvin crawled down, and glared at Spiff.

"SPIFF!" Calvin yelled. "We're just trying to get home! Forget the stupid thrill ride!"

"Hey!" Spiff yelled. "I was looking for camp pine! I wasn't doing a thrill ride!"

"Then how do you explain that we're in Africa right now?" Calvin asked crossing his arms.

"WELL!" Spiff exclaimed. "If you didn't want to see lions and cheetahs on the way, why didn't you just tell me?"

"He'd rather see tigers" said Hobbes prying himself from the windshield.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Hey." said Stupendous man. "Where's Galixoid and Nebular?"

everyone turned. The two aliens were GONE!

They had escaped, and were now on a spaceship heading for their home planet.

"... so they just forget us!" Galixoid exclaimed. "We're going home! The food there was bad anyway!"

"Couldn't agree more, Nebular." said Galixoid.

The two aliens on the mother ship stared at Galixoid and Nebular as they zoomed pass, complaining about the food on Earth.

"**O-**kay" said one of the aliens walking away.

"Now then," said Hobbes. "Shall we free the real Chill?"

"Lets." said Calvin turning to the cage.

BOOM!

Just then, The king burst out of the closet, and he didn't look like he was about to say the pledge of allegiance.

"YAAAH!" Calvin exclaimed.

Stupendous man, Spiff, and Hobbes spun around for a fight.

CRACK!

A net trapped Spiff, Hobbes, and Stupendous man on the floor.

The king turned to Tracer.

"Why aren't you trying to stop me?" he asked.

"Gun's not loaded." said Tracer.

The king blinked, and then picked up the bag filled with Calvin's friends.

He held the bag over...

OVER THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL?

"Calvin." the king panted. "Give me earth, and I'll let you're friends live. If you don't... we'll cover that later."

Calvin's eyes bulged. "Oh no" he muttered.


	10. Back to Camp Pine

Can we back up?

I'm sorry to leave you gripping onto this cliffhanger for dear life, but we need to get a few facts straight.

If you want to skip it, go ahead, but this might help you understand the story more.

Ok, lets see, Lets back up to where Moe was confronting Calvin.

OK, HERE WE GO!

"Please don't kill me!" Calvin begged to Moe.

Moe and his gang turned to have a conference.

"What do you think?" Moe asked. "Should we let the static electricity king live?"

(He's referring to Calvin's hair)

"No."said one of the gang members. "He should have given you that money he had. Pound him."

Nobody noticed something grey moving toward Moe and his gang.

The alien spotted Calvin, and then, using advanced alien technology, the alien leaped into one of the gang members and took over his body.

"I say you take him with you to Camp Pine. You know, so you can beat him up on a regular basis." said the alien. Or gang member. Whatever you want to call him.

Moe agreed, and turned to give Calvin the news.

The alien leaped from the gang member leaving him dazed and confused.

Meanwhile, at Camp Pine, the king was slithering across the field to Instructor Chill's cabin.

His big compound eyes were fixed on the cabin.

He looked into the window.

Chill was there, filing through some paper.

"NOW!" The king yelled.

Three aliens burst into Chill's cabin, and grabbed him.

"HEY!" yelled Chill, but the alien's dragged him away.

The king waved a tentacle at them, pushed a button on a little remote control, and instantly took on Chill's shape.

He laughed insanely just as the bus dropped Calvin and the others off.

Many days later, while Calvin was reported dead, the fake Chill slipped into the forest.

He had just received a distress call from the ship, and he knew Calvin had something to do with it.

So, just as the other weenie aliens rushed off the ship, The fake Chill slipped in.

_Swing: I do hope this helps you understand the story more. Now then, on to Chapter ten!_

**Chapter 10**

Back in Calvin's head, the little Calvin workers were returning to their stations.

"Now calculating problem." said one of them typing "alien want earth" into the key board.

For a while the machine hummed, then a message flashed across the screen.

**23.**

**The answer to life's riddle: tomato soup.**

**burp.**

**4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie.**

**All boots 10 percent off.**

**Get rid of all those ugly overages!**

**Peanut butter sandwiches are slightly higher west of Observatory Park.**

**SYSTEM FAILURE!**

**Blub, blub, bluuuuuuu**

"THE COMPUTER CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND OF PRESSURE!" screamed one of the Calvins. "EARTH IS DOOMED!"

All the Calvins began to panic again.

Calvin's life flashed before his eyes.

Starting from where he first got Hobbes.

Hobbes?

All at once, Calvin became very interested in some of the memories that were flashing before his eyes.

A wide grin spread across Calvin's face, and his life came down to two words...

Calvin walked up to the king.

"Alright." Calvin said. "I'll give you Earth."

Hobbes, Spiff, Stupendous man, and Tracer stared at Calvin in disbelief.

"But..." Calvin continued. "There are TWO words you must say to get it."

"Two words huh?" asked the king. "Let's hear them."

Calvin whispered something into the king's ear.

"That?" asked the king.

"Yeah." said Calvin. "You know, it's kind of a 'proof of purchase' kind of thing."

"**O-**kay" said the king, uncertainly, then he screamed out with the two mighty words:

"I'M HOOOOOME!"

Hobbes' eyes bulged, and his claws shot out more or less on their own. His eyes shot at the king like bullets.

And before the king could finish 'home', Hobbes' claws ripped through the net, and slammed into the kings stomach.

POW!

Calvin cheered, as Hobbes and the king rolled around on the ground.

After a while, Hobbes added some teeth to the mixture. And began biting and scratching the king in every area he could reach.

"Quick!" yelled Tracer. "Through the escape hatch!"

"Wait!" yelled Calvin. "What about the REAL Mr Inspector Cold?"

"I know!" said Stupendous man. "I'll just hit the button that says 'free prisoner'!"

"NO!" yelled Chill. "That means to open the trap..."

Too late.

BEEP

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!" screamed Chill falling from the spaceship right into the forest.

"STUPENDOUS MAN! YOU IDIOT!" Everyone screamed.

"oops." said Stupendous man.

At last, The king slammed his tentacle into Hobbes sending him flying backward into the wall.

His head shot around to Calvin.

"you are so dead!" he hissed.

Calvin gulped, and inched his way to the escape hatch.

The king made a dive for Calvin.

Calvin grabbed Hobbes, and leaped out the escape hatch.

LEAVING SPIFF, TRACER, AND STUPENDOUS MAN BEHIND!

Calvin and Hobbes screamed all the way downward.

Luckily, the landed in some moss. A deer ran away as Calvin slammed into the ground.

Calvin looked up.

They were back in the wilderness.

"No, no, no, no, **NO!"** Calvin said walking three steps to the north. "**NOOO!" **

Hobbes looked around.

Yup.

They were really lost now.

"Luckily though," Calvin said. "I have a compass in my back..."

Calvin reached behind his back.

There was nothing there.

He had left his backpack up on the ship.

Calvin staggered three steps backward, and collapsed.

Hobbes looked around. "ok." he said.

"we're doomed." muttered Calvin.

Hobbes looked down at Calvin.

"Calvin," he said. "We are NOT doomed."

"OH, OPEN YOUR EYES, HOBBES!" Calvin screamed. "WE'RE LOST IN THE WILDERNESS WITH NO FOOD, WATER, OR EQUIPMENT, THERE ARE ALIENS OUT THERE TRYING TO KILL US, AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MOUNTAIN SURVIVAL! WE'RE DEAD!"

"But... but..." said Hobbes tears, beginning to show in his little black eyes. "Someone HAS to have sent someone out to find us!"

"No." Calvin sniffed. "Why would anyone want to save ME? All I do is prank my parents, prank other people's parents, and throw water balloons at anyone I see. I wouldn't be shocked if everyone was celebrating back at my house!"

Calvin slumped and began to cry.

"You can go though." he said. "the aliens won't follow you."

Hobbes stared down at Calvin.

"No." he said.

Calvin looked up through tear shimmered eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm not going to leave you."

There was a moment of silence.

Every now and then, cut by Calvin's sniffles.

Hobbes knelt down, and gave Calvin a hug.

"Friends to the end." he said. "the bitter end."

Calvin smiled softly, and gave Hobbes a hug.

Their reunion was cut short by a deep, thunderous laugh.

"HA! HA! HA! HA!"

Calvin and Hobbes spun around.

There stood the king, holding a bag with Tracer, Spiff and Stupendous man in it.

"Last chance to give me the Earth, kid!" the king hissed.

Hobbes growled.

Calvin looked shocked. But not at the alien's sudden appearance.

"You're holding a bag with Stupendous man in it?" Calvin asked.

"yeah." said the king. "I did it before."

"There was a massive tiger in there before! He couldn't move around!" said Calvin.

"So what?" asked you-know-who.

"SO..." said Calvin. "Stupendous man can..."

just then, Stupendous man ripped through the net, and began beating the king up.

"Do that." finished Calvin.

When the king was completely out cold, Stupendous man dared to scratch an itch behind his ear.

"Now then," said Spiff, crawling out from under the net. "We can give you a proper goodbye."

Calvin stared at Spiff in shock.

"Goodbye? You're leaving?"

"Yup." said Tracer. "We're going back to you're head."

"But... you can't do that! I'm lost! I need your help!"

"No you don't." said Spiff. "I said I'd take you to Camp Pine, and I did. It's just 300 feet from here."

"WHAT!" yelled Calvin.

"You mean to tell me that I wasted a perfectly good drama scene while Camp Pine wasn't even a mile from here!"

"Yup, guess so." said Tracer, trying not to burst out laughing.

Calvin growled in frustration just as Tracer, Stupendous man, and Spiff handed out their goodbyes, and then disappeared.

Hobbes rolled his eyes around, snickering.

Calvin turned around.

Hmmm.

The king was gone.

"Where'd he go?" asked Calvin.

"No idea." said Hobbes. "Lets just get out of here."

"Ok." said Calvin. "But first, can you help me get all scratched up, so I look pathetic?"

Hobbes rolled his eyes. "No." he said.

"oh, darn." said Calvin.

And with that, they raced off. Right toward Camp Pine.

_Swing: The last chapter's coming up, so hang on!_


	11. Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jog

Chapter 11

Calvin and Hobbes raced toward the exit of the forest.

Calvin's eyes widened with delight, as the Camp Pine sign began to come into focus.

Just forty more steps, and they'd see civilization again!

Just then... oops. The entire crew of aliens blocked the trail into Camp Pine.

Calvin and Hobbes screamed, and came to a screeching halt in front of the aliens.

The captain grinned. "Well, well, well. Look what the cat barfed up. Where's you little fighting buddies?"

Calvin backed up.

"They uh... they..."

"They're gone." said the captain. "They went back to their little world inside your empty head!"

Calvin backed up into pine tree.

Hobbes growled at the aliens.

The captain laughed. "We can do that to you again you know."

Hobbes screamed, and hid behind a tree.

The aliens turned their attention back to Calvin.

"Kid, you're are a very weak potentate. And now, you'll die."

Calvin stared at the aliens.

"I am NOT the Earth Potentate!" he screamed. "I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT I'M NOT, I'M **NOT!**"

The alien's laughed.

"Yes, you are! And Earth was stupid to pick a stupid kid like you!" they yelled.

Calvin gritted his teeth.

These aliens were making him SO mad! His mind ran at full power, then resorted to his very last plan.

"You're right." he said. "I'm am a stupid kid.."

The aliens drew closer to him.

"That's right." they said.

"But you know what?" Calvin continued. "I think for a kid, it's not all that bad that I did what most kids would parish doing: I survived in the wilderness in a MONTH!"

"Hurray." said the captain, rolling his eyes.

"I **AM** A KID!" Calvin screamed.

"We know!" yelled the captain. "Now back against the tree!"

"I'm a kid... AND I'M PROUD OF IT!"

A microphone suddenly dropped into Calvin's hands.

"I soak people with water balloons, I read comic books, I prank almost everyone a see... AND I'M PROUD OF IT!"

"Calm down," yelled one of the aliens. "We hate killing someone while there sitting there babbling about being proud!"

"And there's just something I want to do. I want the world to KNOW exactly who we are! We're... we're... WE'RE..."

Calvin didn't finish.

Fog began to rise from the ground, and a spotlight was now shining on Calvin.

The aliens traded glances, each one as confused as the other.

Just then, Calvin leaped up.

He was holding an electric guitar, and bulking a heavy attitude.

(Make up your own note for this.)

"We're Calvin and H**O-O-O-O**bbes!" screamed Calvin, sending the aliens whirling backward in shock.

"We've got gobs of f**U-U-U-U**n!"

"What's he doing?" screamed an alien.

"Ya can't fool around with us be-cause we're CALVIN AND H**O-O-O-O**BBES!"

"STOP!" several aliens screamed.

But Calvin just kept on singing.

He drummed his fingers over the electric guitar, did the worm, twist, and other moves.

"so ya wanna be like us? Ya better pack a lunch! We've got lot's of talent, and FU-U-U-U-UN!"

By this time, Hobbes had joined in with the singing.

"There are no re-PLACEMENTS for people like U-US!"

"GET HIM!" the captain screamed over Calvin's rock and roll.

The aliens growled, and lunged for Calvin.

The aliens were right on top of Calvin, but with a musical blast of color and sound, The aliens went tumbling away.

Calvin rose into the air, and continued with the mighty music.

The captain watched, as Calvin rose into air, and did amazing stunts.

The captain turned to his crew.

"Why are you just sitting there? Get up, and kill him!"

The aliens stared at the musical Calvin.

"Do you think we ought to?" one asked.

"GET HIM! HE'S A JUST STUPID KID SINGING A SONG!"

The aliens hesitated, then grabbed The musical sensation.

Big mistake.

ZZZZT!

Electricity from Calvin's guitar zapped through the alien.

He collapsed, unconscious.

Serval other aliens made a grab for him, but the same thing happened to each of them.

Calvin continued playing the music.

Only now, he was sending electric blasts from his guitar at the aliens, knocking them out.

The captain screamed in frustration that a six year old was defeating his entire army!

Then Calvin sent an electric blast straight upward into the sky.

The blast made fireworks, drawing the attention of mom, dad, Susie, Moe, and Candice at Camp Pine.

Calvin turned his eyes on the captain, who was the only alien who hadn't received a blast of electricity.

He yelled, and ran off, as Calvin fired shot after shot after him, still playing the mighty rock 'n roll music.

Just when the captain thought he had escaped, Calvin drummed down on the strings harder, making a huge blast of hot energy.

BLLLAAASSST!

Calvin scored a direct hit on the captain.

Hobbes yelled "HOORAY!" as Calvin put the finishing touches on the only real song he had ever done.

"We're live at Camp Pine, where Calvin, lost for a month in uncharted wilderness and considered dead, is found in a tearful ceremony." said Jane Gregory of the CNN news.

Calvin came bouncing out of the forest, as if nothing happened.

Everyone was shocked.

"There's not a scratch on him!"everyone yelled.

Two guys came running up to Calvin. One of them was holding a MSNBC cam, the other held a microphone.

"Calvin," said the guy with the microphone. "Everyone wants to know: what was it like being away from civilization for one month?"

Calvin stared up at the camera man with a big insane grin on his face.

"Well," he said. "It all started when I got off the bus!"

(6 hours later)

"and then," Calvin was saying. "The aliens began to close in! I had no place to go!"

The guy with the microphone rolled his eyes.

(10 hours later)

"And Then!" Calvin said with extra drama. "THE KING APPEARED!"

Calvin hadn't noticed that the reporter had walked away.

"HEY!" Calvin yelled. "GET BACK HERE! I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE GOOD PART!"

Just then Mom came bounding up to Calvin.

"Oh, Calvin, You're alive! THANK GOODNESS!" She embraced Calvin.

"MOM!" Calvin yelled, as Hobbes snickered. "LEGGO! DON'T EMBARRASS ME IN MY PUBLIC!"

"Come on, Calvin, we're going home." said mom.

"But I haven't gotten to the part about the real..."

Just then a shadowy figure seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Calvin gasped.

"MISTER INSPECTOR COLD! AAAAAAAAAAA!"

Mom turned and stared at Chill who had his sunglasses back on, covering his big alien eyes.

"Calvin," he hissed. "I'm just delighted that you're alive!"

Calvin laughed. "HA! YOU'RE NOT DELIGHTED! YOU'RE SADDENED BEYOND BELIEF! YOU HATE ME! YOU WANT ME DEAD! SOMEBODY TACKLE HIM!"

"Calvin, don't be silly." said mom. "Chill's been here since we got here."

Calvin glared at Chill. "He's an alien, mom! He tried to kill me, and he's still planning to!"

Chill grinned, innocently.

"You have to excuse that." Chill said. "he's been lost for a long time. He's probably dazed."

Calvin's mouth dropped open.

Just then, a voice rang out.

"HEY! WE GOT SOMEBODY HERE!"

Calvin, Chill, mom, dad, Susie, Moe, Candice, and everybody else turned around.

There, standing in the entrance of the forest, Was a Search and Rescue guy, the hiker who had saw Hobbes' footprints, and The REAL John Howard Chill.

"This guy wanted to show me some strange looking tracks." The S&R guy said motioning to the hiker. "We didn't find the tracks. What we found was this guy lying in the dust, half crazed from starvation."

Calvin grinned. "SEE? SEEEE? HE'S NOT CHILL!"

the fake Chill lingered for five seconds, then darted away in a puff of dust.

ZOOM!

He vanished.

Calvin yelped in surprise.

Just then, a policeman bolted past Calvin, and tackled the fake Chill.

They both collapsed to the ground.

Calvin turned to Hobbes. "Wow, you don't see THAT very often on Court TV."

Hobbes blinked.

"Sorry for the confusion, ma'am." the policeman said to mom and dad, who were to stunned to do anything. "This is RUPERT Chill. John Chill's Twin Brother."

Calvin's mouth dropped open. "THAT'S NOT RUPERT! THAT'S AN ALIEN!"

A few people chuckled at Calvin's outburst.

Calvin growled, then turned to John Chill. "You tell 'em, Mr Inspector Cold! Tell 'em of how they took you on their spaceship!"

All eyes turned to John.

He just stood there, staring off into space and babbling like someone who had been kidnaped.

Calvin blinked, then spun around back to Rupert.

"TAKE OFF HIS SUNGLASSES!" he commanded. "THERE'S A PAIR OF BUG EYES UNDER THEM!"

Just to humor Calvin, The policeman took off Rupert's glasses.

Calvin held his breath.

There were ordinary eyes underneath.

Calvin stared at everybody.

At last he said, "oh, the heck with it!" and walked to the car.

"P.S." he said turning around. "I refuse to stay another SECOND at this torture chamber for harmless little boys!"

Susie rolled her eyes.

The next day, everything seemed to be back to normal.

Calvin walked into his room.

Hobbes was on the bed reading a comic book.

"So," said Hobbes. "How are your heros doing?"

"Oh pretty good." said Calvin. "They're pretty happy to be back in my head."

"There must be something wrong in THEIR heads." said Hobbes.

"What?" asked Calvin.

"Nothing." said Hobbes. Calvin grumbled, and walked down the stairs.

"Mom?" he said. "how long was I lost?"

"A month." replied mom. Calvin gasped.

"A MONTH! that's a month of summer wasted! Down the drain! Gone forever!"

Calvin thought for a moment.

"Can I take a month off when school starts?" he asked.

"No." replied mom. "NO!" Calvin yelled. "How would you have felt if those aliens had sent me to Jupiter!"

"Then Earth would be very peaceful." replied mom.

Calvin growled. "You can't do this to me!" he yelled. "I'll hire a lawyer!"

"Mm-hmm" replied mom.

Calvin growled in frustration.

Then mom said. "Calvin, there's something for you on the table."

Calvin's eyes popped open.

He ran over to the table.

There, sitting in the very middle of the table was a gift wrapped in sparkling wrapping paper.

Calvin plucked a card off the present.

"To: Calvin. Welcome home." he read.

He threw the card aside and ripped through the paper.

Once he did that, he grabbed the box lid, and ripped it open.

Calvin stared at the contents of the box. A wide delighted grin spread across his face.

"Could it be?" he asked. He reached into the box and pulled out...

"FIRST EDITION CAPTAIN NALPALM COMICS!" He screamed. "I can't believe it! Look at them all! It's to good to be true!"

mom smiled.

She didn't hear Calvin say; "Hmmm, maybe if I get lost again, mom'll get me a flamethrower."

but she did hear: "But right now... THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

THE END

_swing: I will be making a sequel. I don't know what the theme will be, yet. Suggestions are welcome. Thank you for reading Calvin and Hobbes: the movie. Oh and one more thing: Tiruna Jerino, I need your e-mail address if you want me to reply. Please either e-mail it to me, or put it on your homepage. Thanks._


	12. BONUS!

Calvin, Hobbes, Mom, Dad, Susie, Moe, Candice, John Chill, the aliens, and Calvin's alter egos sat in the theater as The Calvin and Hobbes movie came to a close, and the credits and music began.

"That was quite the movie." Said Hobbes. "Yeah but **_I_** was really the main character! You were just the stupid by stander!"

"Yeah, well, I was the one who protected you from the aliens!" Hobbes snorted.

"No, buddy! **_I_** was the hero who sung the song!"

"Will you two shut up!" Asked Stupendous Man.

"It was **I** who told you Where Camp Pine was!"

"That was me!" Yelled Tracer Bullet.

"You didn't even load your stupid gun before the fight!" Moe said.

"I Was the one who made twinky go the Summer Camp!"

"THE MOVIE'D BE NOWHERE IF IT WEREN'T FOR US!" Screeched one of the aliens.

"I'll say!" Calvin screamed. "IF IT WEREN'T FOR **YOU**, ME AND HOBBES WOULD HAVE BEEN THE SAFEST THINGS ON THE PLANET!"

"Who wants to watch _that_ at a theater for five dollars a ticket?" Asked Susie.

"I want my money back!" Screamed Candice. "I got a whole _minute_ carved into that stupid movie!"

"Now, now." Said Dad. "Think of all the _character_ you all built at the camp and mountains?"

Everyone stared at Dad like he was a kind of mutant.

Calvin turned and faced the audience. "HEY! WHAT ARE _THEY_ STILL DOING HERE! GET OUT!"

"Calvin be polite." Said Mom.

"Polite my foot! GO SOAK YOUR HEAD YA STUPID READER!"

"Shut up, all of you." Said Chill.

"Oh, so now the camp instructor's gonna boss us around!" Yelled Spiff.

Soon everyone was yelling at each other.

Calvin and Hobbes were fighting, Mom and Dad were arguing about character, Calvin's alter egos were arguing with John Chill, Susie, Moe, and Candice were arguing about who was the main character, and the aliens were just fighting for the heck of it.

Then the credits ended and an extra scene came on, the group stopped fighting, and stared at the screen.

Two words loomed over the screen in big red letters: DROP DEAD!

"KILL THE SCREEN!" Screamed Calvin.

Everyone dived at the screen, and started tearing it apart until the theater manager came in, and told them to get out.

On the way out, Calvin turned to the audience, again, and screamed, "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU MORONS! GO READ OUR SEQUEL, CALVIN AND HOBBES II: LOST AT SEA! GO SIT A CORNER, AND COUNT TO FIFTY THOUSAND! I DON'T CARE _WHAT_ YOU DO, BUT GET OUT!"

And with that, the left the theater, still fighting with each other.

**TV COMMERCIAL FOR THE FIRST MOVIE**

The commercial starts out in darkness, then words appear in a mysterious font, a narrator says the words out loud and mysteriously. **"You've seen them in the comics."** Then a chainsaw sounds. And the narrator says more cheerily, **"and now they're crashing their way to the big screen!"** It then cuts to Calvin, about to cut the couch in half with a chainsaw. Then quickly cuts through several screen shots from the movie, playing dramatic music, then it finally cuts to the movie title. The narrator says it out loud. **"Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie. Rated PG. Coming soon to a theater near you!"** Cuts to Calvin throwing a water balloon at the screen. SPLASH!

**TV COMMERCIAL FOR THE SECOND MOVIE**

"**Are you looking for a quiet place to just relax?"** Asked the narrator showing pictures of animated people relaxing on a beach on Hawaii. Just then, a loud booms sounds, and the narrator says, **"WELL, YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND IT HERE!"** Cuts to Calvin flying across the water in a speed boat with a panicking Hobbes at his side. The narrator continues. **"Calvin and Hobbes are back, but this time, they have bigger fish to fry."** Cuts to a scene of a sea monster rising from the water. **"_Really_ big fish to fry."** Cuts to the title. **"Calvin and Hobbes II: Lost at Sea! Rated PG. Coming soon to theaters everywhere!"**


End file.
